Dead Again

Did Dead People today. The original one that spun off "Dead People: Des Moines," and "Dead People: Akron." They find a dead person in an R.V. This R.V. looks sorta like the Urban Assualt vehicle from that 25 year old movie called Stripes. Clowns abound on this shoot, extras are supposed to react to the reveal of the dead person, and people ratched up the bad thespian moments. Again, someone did the ghastly-ghostly sound: "oooooohhhh." Same weird warble I heard on the Boat movie, when extra's were supposed to pretend we were sinking and dying. It must be built in the DNA of bad actors.

It was a dead showgirl inside the R.V. Of course. Chub-a-lub dude next to me with HIDEOUS toenails (and he's wearing sandals!) tells me that his girlfriend is the same weight as these showgirls, but bigger on top. If this guy has a smoking hot girlfriend, I'll eat his toenails. No way. He also told me that one time on CSI, this extra was bragging about bagging prostitutes the night before, and now the same extra was playing a "John."

They've tricked out the LA Convention Center to look like a car show. They've hired hundreds of hotties, with jugs spilling outta their costumes to walk around and strut. A gaggle of the hotties gathers in a corner to discuss diets and butt washes. Yup, colonics seem to be the thing when you weight 110 pounds and are insanely cute. You must get rid of the toxins! Your mucus linings! Scales! Please put a hose up my butt and begin pumping! In fact, one of the gals had convinced her fool-of-a-boyfriend to take her on a five day, EIGHT GRAND "holiday," where they give you a colonic EVERY day. I'll bet the inside of that relationship is as rotten as her foul bowels.

Or, some other chick was on "THE MASTER PLAN." A diet's who's master plan was to starve you stupid. It seems to have worked with this chick. You only eat maple syrup, lemon, and cayane pepper. Somewhere, a quack is laffing that he managed to pick three nonsenical food items and convinced a nation of nitwits to eat them like they were jesus-wafers. She felt bad, she had been cheating today, "I ate one apple."

Russian Mob Boss was here today. He looks amazingly like Harpo Marx and he waddles around and talks in Russian all day on his cell. He never understands what the A.D.'s ask of him, and seems perplexed anytime something is required of him, yet he always ends up first in the food line, sign-out line, etc. Harpo, the Russian Mob Boss.

One of the background dudes, "Mark," keeps up a fun website devoted to toilet graffiti:

http://www.latrinalia.org/

as long as they don't piss on the paper, they can write whatever they want.