stasis vs. mo

I think about people functioning in places like Iraq. Saying, okay, I'm going to go buy some paper today for my printer. And they are faced with danger and risk at such huge level for such a mundane task. Meanwhile, I fight the demons I have always fought: the ones who say: now, now, just stay put. don't do anything. don't risk. these demons can weigh in things like doing the dishes: now, now, let's just see if there's a good 3's Company re-run on. of course, when I do get going, it feels empowering and great. I don't know if everyone has them to the same extent I do, it just always feels like a constant battle to motivate me to move. On any level. And of course, in the business of show, that's what you are doing. you are taking risks, entering into zones that seem over your head. the whole caroling thing down in the O.C. (described in earlier posts) was one huge fight against all my very best nemesii. Getting up, in front of all those voice teachers, broadway vets, etc., and sing in a quartet, naked of accompaniment: well, that's walking through the fire. It may not be Iraq, but my own fertile crest of an imagination can give it enough pyschic energy to compensate. When you go to an audition, when you go to an improv class for the first time, call a big shot back, etc. These are all walking through the fire for me. Every part of my fight/flight response is yelling FLIGHT! FLIGHT! Don't do it! You could get hurt! And yet, that's what you must do. This is old news. Most people with creative sensibilities are sensitive. And to succeed in the business of show you must be able to handle rejection. Gee, who handles rejections better than sensitive people, eh?

This is why when normal folks scratch their head about star's outrageous behavior, I laff. On a certain level, a star is always acting out to the scars they had to accumlate to allow the sensitive part of their creativity to breathe. Not an excuse, just saying I get it. Dr. Seuss had his first book turned down how many times? Now, the proceeds from his estate prolly supports about 15 relatives! So, I need to leave Blog Land and go to DO IT/GET THROUGH IT LAND, because you will die someday, just not likely today, and not for the tasks at hand.