you're in the army now

Out the door to be atmosphere (hello, I'm a charged ion!), elaborate later.

Woke up at 3AM last night in the cold-dark-night-of-the-soul space. You can tell yourself that everything isn't hopeless, it's just a feeling, but the feeling is so pervasive, it overwhelms the logic. Sunlight comes and restores hope. Your dogs jump up and press against ya on each side. Anyway, give me a few ticks to talk attya later ...

Went to get pictures for extra work. Four looks required: I chose Soccer Dad, Republican Dad in Blue Coat, Western Preacher Man, and White Trash dude. It really is troubling how white trash I can look. Sometimes I want to go to a city where they're filming COPS and commit a crime because my look is that perfect. Do you think they never show when guys outrun the cops? Always these footchases, always the cops win. I have to believe every now and then a fleet dude can outrun the police. I hold no illusion about car chases in this day and age, but not all cops are track stars.

The Extra work is being referred to as Background work. I think "atmosphere" has fallen out of vogue. I was told the three reasons one could decline extra work: recall, hospital, death. they seemed pretty serious about this. if you're puking sick, puke in your car on the way to the job, and then puke on the AD, and they'll let you go home. The guy signing up with me had a bruised fingernails from the gym and a girlfriend who helped him dress in his change of clothes. She really liked him in his suit, I thought they were going to have sex in the dressing room. I get the feeling the guy is a gym rat, so she had herself a little fantasy to see him in a dress suit. Uniforms. They really work magic on certain ladies. I've always heard that lesbians love em, if you're a gal wear the UPS uniform, it's a big turn on. As I left the EXTRA! place a scary, babbling, lady told me she had been a stand-in for Kathy Bates often. It seemed about right, this was the kind of stand-in poor Kathy Bates would get. I wondered if a stand-in could ever look so close to someone, they could murder them and take over their life. CSI Burbank could figure this one out in a two part episode. At any rate, I'm officially hooked, and required to show up wherever and whenever they need me for not much $$$. Once you get SAG, you get more $$$, but the rub is you also get less work, especially in this reality-show world. all of this would seem like a lot more like an exciting adventure if I was 22, as opposed to an underscored and italic condemnation of my life of 35 years.