After the Tour is Over ...

After doing Hollywood Death Cab today, this India-Indian guy comes up to me and starts to tell me:

"I was wondering [blows smoke in my face from his ciggie] do you know how I would get a product to someone."

Me: "uh, no, not sure what you mean."

"Well, recently, I had a near death experience, I saw my little child's face, and I decided to come back, I'm an engineer and I have invented this this thing which can be used for animation, it makes stories, the children love it."

Me: "You might want to go on Google and try putting in the words "marketing rep"

"NO, no, no. I don't want to sell the product to just anybody, it's ready to sell, and your company could be the perfect company, because you are about Hollywood, and Hollywood loves animation and toys and stories. The product makes stories, I have designed it to do so, because I am an engineer."

Lord, he wouldn't stop. I had to basically repeat that Google might help and run for the office.

I also had a woman ask me why she was still single. We had just finished a tour, and I always offer to answer any questions about ANYTHING. Schematic drawings, women's handbags, anything.

"So why am I still single," she asks.

Me: "You need to lower your standards."

This came to her as a revelation.

"But what if he's a total dirtbag?"

Me: "Trade up."

This seemed to help her.